A Life Without Quidditch, Is No Life At All?
by Demetre Ironhilt
Summary: Oliver Wood. Normal, over- obsessed quidditch playing seventeen year old, who happens to be... very good looking! So what happens when the twins pull a prank to make him think that he will NEVER play quidditch beyond Hogwarts. WWWD?...OW/KB (!)
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1: Jedi Master

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Ahh, my first publicated Wood fic. I dedicate this to him and his hotness. I can't believe that they took the salty goodness out of the third movie! Alas, life is so not fair.

"You _will_ let me copy your homework. You _won't_ tell McGonigall that I did. But you _will_ let me copy your homework..."

"Fred, if you wave your hand one more time in front of my face, I swear I'll-"

"You _will_ let me copy your homework, Angelina, you _will_!"

From my position on the couch, I heard a loud thump on the floor and what sounded like a male's voice groaning an 'ow.' No doubtedly it was Fred, he was always pissing Angelina off in one way or another. Sometimes I couldn't believe that those two were even able to tolerate each other.

"What was that for?" Fred complained.

"I warned you-"

"I was using my jedi mind tricks though."

"Jedi what- y?"

"Never mind, can I see your homework now?"

"Let me think about that... no!"

I heard Angelina's maniacal laughter. The two bickered relentlessly, almost as bad as Ron and Hermione. Though I've never met any two people who could bicker as much they can. God save us all if there was anyone else like those two...

I readjusted myself (A/N: And no, NOT like that) on the couch so that I could sketch in my notebook better. The quidditch tactics for our next game against Ravenclaw were coming along slower than I thought they would. I was lacking all motivation at this point and time of day. It was only seven o'clock, and I would have another hour before its lights out for me. We had an early quidditch practice tomorrow, which is why it was so vital for me to finish the plans tonight.

You could say that maybe I was distracted. By what? You may ask. And there's plenty to be distracted by. More specifically, Katie Bell.

Over the past couple of years, I had actually been able to restrain myself from noticing the female race too much. Anything that could effect how I played quidditch had to go. Or that was how things used to work, at least. I don't know what it was, maybe hormonal dysfunction, but I had definitely gotten used to noticing _her_ lately.

It was odd, we've always been friends, or shared some type of bond at least through quidditch, but I never really recognized her as a girl. Its one of my more annoying flaws. On the quidditch field, everyone is one and the same. Boys, girls, they're all just figurines on the chess board, and I am their God.

Not that I ever think highly of myself.

"I love Star Wars!" Came a different female voice. I delayed for a moment, mentally instructing myself to not look around.

"Well I love it more," Fred said.

"No! I love it more!" George counter- attacked.

"Well it seems we have a nice, dainty dispute on our hands," said Fred. "The question is, Katie, what side will you be on?"

"Come to the dark side, Katie!" George said. He must have cupped his hands over his face because he was making those odd, asthma sounding noises.

"Never!" She yelled.

I couldn't resist the urge to look. No, be strong... can't hold on much longer... I broke. My head snapped around and I pretended to watch with annoyed interest.

Katie, Fred and George pulled out their wands, simultaneously putting a spell on their wands to make them glow orange, green and pink. The next thing I knew, they were pretending to fight with their wands. I watched Katie. She was usually really mellowed out and quiet. But there was a sparkle in her eyes now, and her blonde ponytail bobbed up and down as she fought. It was nice to look at... Maybe better than _nice_, but anyway...

"We have something to tell you," George said between strokes, thrusting his wand out at odd angles. Both of the twins had ganged up against her now.

"Yes. Katie, I am your father!" Fred mimicked the evil villain.

"And I, am your mother!" George put in. Fred and Katie stood up straight and stared at George with a look of shock and disgust on their faces. Angelina rolled with laughter on the floor, clutching her stomach. I had to admit, the scene was pretty funny, and I would have cracked a smile myself if I wasn't being my usual obsessive self.

"Then I hope to Merlin that I was adopted," Katie put in with an impish grin. She put her wand down to Georges chin, and when he looked down cross- eyed, she pushed the wand up so it hit him in the nose.

Fred chuckled and was too busy to notice until Katie had knocked both of their wands out of their hands. The red- headed twins crouched on the floor, cowering in fake fear.

"Say your prayers!" she threatened menacingly.

"Oi, Angelina, I pray that you'll finally let me copy your homework-"

"And I pray that Katie won't kill me, or worse, kiss me..."

There were low moans around the room as people 'o-ed' at the magnificent burn.

"You want to take that back, Weasely?" she glared.

"No," George gulped. She leaned down until she was inches from his face

"You sure?"

"No," he gulped again, his face cracking.

Her frown turned into a smile, showing off her dimples. George was staring wide eyed as she came closer, and closer.

"Argh!" she screamed. Fred had tackled her in that moment of hesitation, she was sprawled underneath him in a very unlady like manner. He began tickling her.

"I'm going to kill you!" She yelled at him, although the statement lost a lot of meaning with that big grin on her face like that.

"Uh-huh. Teach you to mess with the Weasely's." He continued his massive attack. She laughed loudly, trying to push him away.

"Knock it off you guys," I ordered.

"Oliver...( laugh)... help meee!" Katie kicked him dangerously close to a very sensitive area, and he backed off.

"He can't help you, Katie," George said. "He's probably too busy answering girly fan mail."

"Haha, very funny," I said sarcastically.

"You know, I heard that they started another one in Hufflepuff. The first male one ever-"

The room chorused with laughter as I scowled. It was not an amusing scene. Katie was eventually able to stand herself up. Her hair had fallen out of her pony tail and was in a disarray around her face. Her cheeks flushed red as she tried to bring order to herself. She pushed her hair back with her hand as she laughed at the comments circulating the room about my 'fan clubs.'

I rolled my eyes at Fred and George who came over and began to fawn over me.

"Oh, Oliver Wood, you're so handsome!" Fred pretended in a high pitched voice. The entire common room was again erupting into laughter. I began to joke around as well.

"What can I say? I'm one good- looking boy," I stated with a lopsided grin.

"That you are, Wood, that you are." He puffed out his chest mockingly. "But not as good- looking as me."

I snickered. "Just keep telling yourself that, Georgie boy. Can I please go back to planning our next quidditch game, or are you guys going to keep torturing me?"

"Go back to your work, Wood." And thus I did.

A/N: Please Review. If you do, then… then… you'll know that you have touched some one's life in a way indescribable by words or actions. And although we, as people, have a limited amount of time here, it is important to know that we can occupy a fraction of that time on some one else to make their lives better. … Wow, that was really deep. I like that! It's worth a review, wouldn't you think? Thanks!


	2. NOOOOOOOO!

Chapter 2:NOOOOOOOO!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/n: Thankyou so much reviewer! I felt pretty darn good about myself with the awesome review you wrote! More yayness!

I sat down at breakfast, along with the other groggy players sitting around the table. Except for Gred and Forge. I wasn't quite sure where they were.

"Eat up!" I said cheerfully.

The table responded with grunts and yawns, generally the usual at six o'clock in the morning.

"Oh, shove it Oliver. Its too early for this," Alicia complained. Eeh, some one forgot their special meds this morning.

I smiled at her, because I knew it would only piss her off even more Theres only a couple of things you need for a successful quidditch practice this early in the morning. One of them was to get your players more riled up, or at least energetic, and have a clear mind. The way I figure, if they all get mad at me, then they'll concentrate more on being tougher on me and therefore concentrate on the game more. Sounds good? Good. Because I wasn't really sure if it would work or not.

I chewed on some scrambled eggs. The texture feels really funny in your mouth when you really think about it...

"The eggs, Oliver," came an annoyed voice.

"Huh?" I said, snapping out of my egg reverie.

"Pass the eggs."

"Oh right. Sorry Katie." I passed her the eggs. And in doing so, classically, her hand brushed against the back of mine. I smiled, then realized that they were supposed to be getting madder at me. So I said the first thing that came to my mind, and in my most obnoxious voice I could muster.

"Eggs are... _really_ fattening, you know," I said, after I swallowed down my food.

I received a menacing death glare from her, as several of the other students dropped their forks on their plates.

"What the hell Wood?" Angelina asked skeptically.

Katie abruptly stood up, carrying her plate with her. On her way out of the Great Hall, she dumped her plate in the trash with an echoeing crash. I felt a pang of guilt. Its not what I had said, its what I had implied. Girls don't like doubting their weight, and that comment had certainly not helped my friendship with her.

Angelina and Alicia stood up as well, putting their hands on their hips.

"You know, quidditch has made you a real ass," Alicia spat. They both stalked off, leaving Harry with me.

"Bloody pms," I muttered. "Have you seen Fred or George?"

"Nope."

I grunted, angry at my own insolence. They just didn't understand that it was all for the good of the team.

"I gotta go."

I was traveling down the lonely halls back to the Common Room. The mostly likely place that the twins would be is in the Common Room sleeping. It was the only logical explanation.

"Ahhh!" Some one grabbed hold of my wrist, some one who knew how to cackle.

I was thrust into a room that was lit with hundred of aromatic candles lining the walls. There were two chairs, more like cushions actually, where the cackler led me. I was rushed to one of them where I sat down, forced by the hand.

Across from me, a woman sat down. But she was unlike any woman I had ever seen. She was the true essence of... ugliness.

There were so many wrinkles covering her small, hunched figure, that her eyes were like beads pressed into a lump of cookie dough, barely visible. Her skin was a mottled gray color, and her hands were bonier than my last name. She cackled yet again, I winced.

"Ahh. Oliver Wood," she drew out my name like a drunkard slurs. "The inner eye is watching you. I have a message. You see, your entire future is at stake."

I rolled my eyes, and slapped my forehead. "Haha. Not yet another prank-"

"This is no prank!" She hissed, saliva spilling from her mouth. "It has to do with... quidditch."

I perked up at the mere mentioning of the one and only thing in my life that mattered. "What of quidditch?" I asked, leaning forward.

"I think you will not believe me if I tell you," she said in a scratchy voice. "So first I will make you believe in the Inner Eye."

I nodded in consent. This person looked like the Professor Trewlany type, maybe she could tell me my future in quidditch.

"You are a strict boy. Loosen up!" she snapped. Startled, I jumped. She exhaled deeply, peering at me. "Hm... I see some one in your life, a possibility. Ooh, but that's really sad. You hurt her today. Already, and its only six in the morning. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

I nodded. Was it Katie? Did I really hurt her with that one, single, solitary comment? Impossible. Not her, she's strong... I think. I can't really claim that.

"So now do you believe in this?" she asked, gesturing to the room around her.

I nodded slower.

"Good. Because no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you will never play quidditch professionally outside of Hogwarts. Ever."

There was a deep pain in my chest. Was this how muggles felt before a heart attack?

"No-"

"You must redeem yourself. Lead a normal life. Quidditch free. And then maybe someday, your path will change, and it will come back to you. Until then, quidditch free."

"NO!" I shouted. Yet there was a strange part of me that was believing this. I stood up and ran down the hallway, screaming 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

It just couldn't be true, no, it couldn't. Quidditch was all I had, I spread my life around quidditch. I couldn't lose it. Not now. This is my dream, my past, my present, my future. This was my one gift! I can't be a normal teenager, cheering behind the lines! I don't know how. No, no, I can't lose this, not now. Its only my last year, its supposed to be my greatest.

Angrily I ran to the locker rooms. The entire team, minus me, was already there and changed.

"Listen up," I said, anger seething from my voice. "We're not having a bloody practice today. If anyone chooses to question this decision, they can sod off because we're not having a BLOODY PRACTICE TODAY!" My shoulders rose and fell heavily and quickly as I breathed.

The five other players stared at me with their mouths hanging open.

"Argh!" I growled, and shoved past Fred and George to the showers to cool off.

I stripped down once I stepped into the showers, throwing my clothes who knows where. I heard the door leading into the locker room open and close several times. The rest of the team probably left. Hopefully.

I turned on the taps to the coldest possible setting, it felt like a million sharp knives were barred into my skin. But after a while I went numb, and couldn't feel anything anyway. I drowned away my anger, and my fear.

After about an hour, yes an hour, I decided that if I stayed in the shower any longer, my skin would start to deteriorate. I found a towel laying on the racks and tied it around my waist after a quick towel- dry down the bod (A/n: niiiice mental image...). I walked out of the showers holding the towel around my waist with one hand.

I left a trail of water behind me as I walked back out into the main locker area. I hadn't spotted my clothes yet.

"Shit," I said, my voice echoeing around the room. I searched frantically in the boys section of the locker room. There was a slight chance that I had thrown my clothes over onto the girls' side. "Bloody Hell," I said in exasperation, throwing my unoccupied hand up.

Stealthily, with the grace of a cat, I tip toed over to the girls' locker room. I walked over to the door, constantly glancing over my shoulder, and locked so as to reassure that no girl just came barging in on me. I heard it lock with a satisfactory click.

I smiled genuinely. Complete privacy.

"Oliver?"

"Ahhhhhhh!" I spun around, barely managing to keep my towel up.

"I'm so sorry," she said, attempting to look away from my half naked self. My hand was clutching my chest where my heart was.

"You scared me half to death!" I clutched the towel tighter. The one thing that could make this situation worse was me exposing myself in front of Katie Bell of all people. "What are you doing here?"

"I… er... stayed because you looked… upset," she said, shuffling her feet nervously. "And I have your clothes," she added quickly.

Needless to say, I felt myself go all teary- eyed inside. I insult her during breakfast, and she comes to help me? Alicia was right, I am an ass.

"Oh." That was my great line? 'Oh?' I changed my mind. I'm not an ass. I'm a dumbass. "Uh... I'm really sorry about breakfast, this morning."

She wouldn't meet my gaze. Obviously I had struck a nerve earlier.

"Its okay," she toyed. "I'm used to your dumbass- in- in- the- morning attitude by now."

"I guess I deserved that." I scratched the back of my head with my hand, then realized that I was wearing a towel. I lowered my hand back to the side of me to hang onto the towel.

"Now that that little apology is over," she put on a concerned face, "Are you okay?"

"Uhh… no, actually." I leaned back against the stone wall and let a small sigh escape my mouth.

"What is it?" She put her hand on my elbow. I'd never known her to be so compassionate.

"Do you ever... doubt yourself? On the quidditch field, I mean?"

She nodded.

"You could say that that's kind of what I'm going through."

"Why?" She snorted.

"What do you mean 'Why?'" I asked with my eyebrows raised.

"Your practically the best quidditch player on the field, you've been offered tons of different positions for teams all over the world! How could you doubt yourself?"

"I just... do." I seriously did not want to tell her about that creepy old woman. She was, well... creepy! And Katie would probably just laugh at me anyway.

"Oh. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"My clothes would actually be really helpful," I said, nodding to the clothes in her hand.

"The towel- look looks really good on you, though. It would be a shame to destroy it with these." She tossed me the clothes, and I stepped back as I caught them with one hand. She smiled and then brushed past me to get to the door. "And by the way, those are some nice knickers you got there," she said as she opened the door. "See you."

I hoped to Merlin that my face wasn't as red as it felt. She'd seen my underwear. I think that a part of my manhood had suddenly been stripped.

Crap.


	3. Is This Normal!

Chapter 3: Is this Normal?! (uh- oh)

Disclaimer: me no own. dang.

A/N: Whoo! Whoo! I got reviews! Yay! Yay! Thanks! Thanks! Read Please! Whoo! Whoo! ::Dances around the room::

Back in the Common Room, I had locked myself in the boys seventh year bathroom. I stared at my reflection. Not a bad idea, I secretly thought, flexing a bicep. My reflection laughed aloud. Yes. My reflection was laughing at me.

"_You are a lost cause, my boy_," it said in an oddly familiar accent.

"What?" I asked it (me?) skeptically.

"_You'll never be normal, like the rest of them."_

"Huh?" Partially afraid of myself, perhaps I was going crazy, I took a cautious step backwards. The mirror laughed maniacly, but after a second or two, it resided to my normal state.

Letting out a deep breath, I placed both of my hands on the side of the sink and leaned in close to get a better look at myself.

"Be normal," I ordered myself. As if that would magically make me, dare I say it? 'Normal.'

"Normal, Oliver. You've got to be normal!" I hissed at the mirror. My head began to swim. Was talking to yourself normal?

"Normal, normal, normal," I sang to myself. I spun around, dancing like the wild Scottsman I truly was. I was doing a jig in the bathroom. "Nooooormal, normal, normal!"

When I felt a droplet of water underneath my foot and almost broke my neck with a fall, I stopped my dance. I wasn't Brittany Spears after all.

"Be normal-"

Knock. Knock, knock. I jumped with fright.

"Oliver, what are you doing in there? Putting on your face?" I heard obnoxious laughter. What was Fred (or was it George? - No- George snorts) doing in the seventh year room?

I swung open the door before Fred could get suspicious. The twins were very crafty wizards, and it wouldn't have surprised me if they bewitched the mirror to replay everything that went on in front of it to them.

"Nothing," I said calmly.

"What was that?" Mockingly, he cupped his left ear and pretended to be listening for something. "I didn't quite catch that, Wood. Did you say _normal_?"

My face colored.

"Wood, we need to have a little talk. Man to man," he said, dragging me over to a nearby bed and sitting on the edge of it. "Now, I know that you don't like to get personal, but I'm forcing you to. Something's up, so spill!"

"Nothing is up-"

"Something is definitely up when I catch my quidditch captain singing to himself to be normal in the bathroom. Now, what's going on?" He asked forcefully.

"I... I just... Let me put it this way. I kind of came to my senses this morning, about quidditch, er something. And I had an epiphany, I think that's what they call it. But anyway, I looked into the future, and do you know where I found myself?" I said. Deep down, I hadn't meant to let that much information slip. But I figured that I could get away with it without letting Fred know about my earlier confrontation.

"Where?"

"On the quidditch field."

"Well duh," he stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"But there's one problem. All I am is Quidditch. Its not normal. Before I can get back to that quidditch field, I have to be normal!" I said, pounding my fists on the bed.

"Calm down, Wood. You want to be normal?" He asked with a mischievious glint in his eyes.

I nodded.

"Then you've come to the right wizard," he boasted proudly. "I- well rather George and I, will show you how to be noooooooormallllllll-" he sang shrilly.

"Really?" I asked.

"Sure. For a small price, that is..."

Uh-oh.

"You have to do everything we say. Deal?"

Uh- oh. My life in some one else's hands? Is that normal?

"Deal." Bloody mouth.

Uuuuh- oooooh.

A/n: I didn't want to get chased down by wolves, so I decided that I should update. In case anyone got lost, here's a recap (I find this so amusing): Wood was singing to himself in the bathroom. Hehe. I just like imagining that. That's it for the recap. And in reality, I didn't put the little 'recap' in here in case you got lost, I just like typing that he was singing in the bathroom. It makes him that much more adorable. This explains why I'm soo not noooooooooooooooorrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll!

Oh, review, por favor!


	4. The Most Unoriginal Chapter Title Ever!

Chapter 4: The Most Unoriginal Chapter Title Ever

Disclaimer: I don't own.

A/n: My comps been ditzy, sorry for the long wait.

"What's this?" I asked, taking the foot long piece of parchment tentatively. Fred and Geeorge stared solemnly ahead.

"This is a contract, binding you to your word," George explained.

I skimmed over the contents, scribed in large, calligraphy font:

I, The undersigned Oliver Wood, do hereby give my word in a solemn oath, that I will not mention, write, or repeat any knowledge dealing with or of quidditch.

X___________________

"What am I suppose to do with this?" I asked dumbly.

"You sign it, you nim- rod," Fred ordered.

"I can't sign this! I shouldn't need a contract to-"

"Wood, Wood, Wood. You may not believe that this is necessary, but Fred and I have decided that this is the only way to keep you under control. Now sign it!"

"Woah, woah, woah. I can't sign this, that's like signing away my soul!"

"Technically, it is signing away your soul-" George elbowed Fred sharply in the ribs. "Don't worry, Wood. It won't keep you from your precious quidditch. Its bewitched so that if you do break the contract, and we do know that this will happen, it will remind you of your word in a simple, painless way. You see, its more of a psychological thing."

"Yeah, a reinforcement," George agreed.

Skeptically, I looked over the parchment once more.

"Look, think about it this way. Do you want to get your girl Katie or not?"

"This has nothing to do with Katie," I lied, mentally kicking myself.

"Fred, remind me that the first thing that we teach him is how to lie," George muttered to his brother.

Glaring at the two of them, I picked up a nearby quill and signed away. The paper gave a satisfied buzz, and rolled itself up.

"I know that I'm going to regret this," I groaned.

"You probably will. See ya later!" And they were off without a word, carrying the paper with them. I have never seen them travel so fast. I sat on my bed, staring at a clock on the wall.

My broom was in my chest (LOCKBOX!) at the foot of the bed. All I had to do was reach for it, go for a couple of rounds on the field, and everything would be alright. I would be able to forget.

But then, now I couldn't even ride a broom. And this made me very nervous, very nervous indeed.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

I reached for the book on my nightstand table. 'Everything You've ever wanted to know about quidditch.' Abandoning the thought, I left the book alone.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

Maybe I could get some homework done. I hadn't even looked at the essay Professor Binns gave us in history class. I grabbed some parchment and the same quill I used to sign the contract. From my bag, I revealed another piece of parchment that had the instructions. Two scrolls of parchment, at least 3,000 words, Subject: Reah Tompson.

Reah Tompson, where had I heard that name before. Oh yes, wasn't she the first female to ever play quidditch professionally...

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

"I can't take it anymore!" I shouted to the empty room. Oh, the irony. Only something like this would happen to me. "So this is how you end up, Oliver wood? A hopeless, overly obsessed fanatic who will never even get the chance to play professionally- and now can't even think about qui- that game- for who knows how long? Argh!"

"Talk to yourself much?"

"Katie!" How did she do that? It was as if every embarrassing moment in my life, she had to be present for. God knows what could happen next. "Wha- er what are you doing in the boys dormitories?"

"Actually McGonigall sent me to come fetch you. She said it was urgent."

"But why didn't she just send a- a boy?"

"Because I was in her office already. Why? Do you have a problem with me, Oliver Wood?" She pointedly asked.

"No, but- but these are the boys dormitories!"

"I know that. Look, I think that we're both mature enough to handle a girl in the boys' dormitories. Or at least, I thought we were both mature enough. Honestly, you'd think that you of all people would have a problem having me here, just one quidditch mate to another," she added, a frown settling on her face when she spoke the word quidditch.

"I've had girls in here before, that's not the problem-" Oh god, that was the wrong thing to say. The very wrong thing to say.

"Hm, well, you better get yourself over to McGonigall. No sense in wasting your time here with me," she said.

"Katie, I didn't mean that- what I said. What I meant was that Alicia and Angelina and them have all been up here before, don't go-"

"I know what you _meant_ Oliver," she turned to leave.

"That's not it, I swear-"

"Oliver, don't start. I know that the only thing that matters to you, is you and your precious quidditch game. It doesn't come as a surprise that you would put it before friendship."

Helpless, I let my shoulders sag. "I don't know how to explain it to you, you're more than just a teamate, your my friend." Overlook the fact that I wished she were more than a friend...

"Then prove it. Tell me that I'm more than just a quidditch mate." She placed her hands on her hips, and gave me, a look. ~_~.

"I just did!"

"Say it." She obviously had a point to get across.

"Fine. You're more than just qui-" Wait. Hang on. I can't say quidditch. Truth be told, I didn't know what would happen to me yet. Anything could happen, or nothing. What if I turned inside out or some other awful, horrible, indescribable and unexplainable thing happened? What would Katie think?

"That's what I thought." She turned on her heel and left the room, her blond pony- tail bobbing behind her.

I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill Fred and George. But first, I'm going to find McGonigall because Katie told me to. Warily I walked out of the room, hoping that I wouldn't walk into Katie. Stay away from the danger zone.

I brushed past students of all shapes and sizes, a determined look upon my face. A group of several fourth year girls moved to the side and began to whisper. One of them waved, but I kept traveling down the halls. Maybe I didn't need to change. Just everyone else. It would make things so much easier.

The Transfiguration classroom came into view. I entered and McGonigall was seated at her usual spot at her desk.

"Ah, Wood," she said primly. "I have a surprise for you, and I think that it will be most appreciated. Let me introduce you to Bob Harleton, scout for the American Quidditch League."

This day just kept getting better and better.

A man a foot taller than I stepped out from the shadows. He wore a cheesy hat on his head that reminded me of the detectives in old time movies and a brown suit. What was with the muggle clothes?

He came over and shook my hand. It seemed to take forever. "I've heard great things about you, and I think that I like what I saw the last time I watched a game. I'm here to offer you a position, its a once in a lifetime opportunity." He started to ramble, I watched with a dazed look. "Although, when I was sent, they told me that I was to get to know you first, make you feel welcome. So what do you say we take a walk around the school? I could get to know you better, and we can see if this is better for the both of our worlds. How about it?"

"Er, alright."

I led him outside. Well, inside the castle, but outside of the room. We walked at a moderately slow pace. More people began to whisper. It was making me nervous.

"I'm not saying that being in the league is easy. You could say that it would be more of a challenge than the rest. What other options have you been offered?" he asked me, suspiciously like a spy.

"Puddlemere United- OUCH!" My body was buzzing, Buzzing! I've never had that happened before. But the moment my lips finished pronouncing the word 'United,' there was a strange shock that traveled all through me. And let me tell you, it was not a pleasurable shock.

"You okay son?"

"Sure- There was a bee, yeah, a bee," I stumbled out.

"Puddlemere's a nice team. Although, I happened to fancy the Scottish team myself. They always have the fastest brooms. I wonder if they charm them. What kind of broom do you have? We're stock loaded with with the latest styles."

"A Nimbus 2000- Ooooooow!" I howled as another pain- filled shock shook through me.

"Boy, are you sure that you're okay?" He stopped.

"Yes," I said meekly, rubbing my arm. I gave him a small smile.

"Very well, then. Did you see our last match? Ha- ha! Yes, our man Miller pulled a-"

"A wronski Feint?" I said excitedly. "I know, it was absolutely fantastic, I can't believe that you pulled out of that seven match slump- Ow. Ow, ow, ouch!" I was out of control, spinning around the room, because I was in pain. Boy did it hurt! (A/n: Have y'all seen the Winter Guest with Sean Biggerstaff? If you have, just imagine Tom when he has, er, that problem and he's screaming bloody Mary. lol.)

That's when I let it slip. That's when I decided 'hey, this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and this great, respectable man is here to see me. It would be okay if I started dancing around wildly. And Cursing.'

"Oh flipping _________ oh _________, Aaaaaaaaaaah! ___________, __________, _____________!"

With a strange look from the scout, he spoke. "I don't understand what is going. But if you think this is a joke, it seems that I've just waited some valuable time." He left, his blind ponytail bobbing behind him. Wait- that was Katie. It didn't matter, I couldn't see straight anyway. The pain finally subsided.

They were dead. Gone. Deceased. if I ever got my quidditch- deficient hands on those scheming red- haired twins, I would kill them!

As if mocking me, another short spurt of shock buzzed me.

"__________!"

A/n: Again, sorry for the wait. Please r/r.


	5. Panic

Chapter 5: Panic

Dislaimer: Don't own, not me.

A/N: (Insert Malicious Laughter Here) Wow, I really should update more often. Hm, I could do a LOT with this fic, but right now I'm pretty much imagination- deficient. So I'd REALLY appreciate if you all could throw me some suggestions, some WILD suggestions (Just keep it pg13 plz?). Sorry for the non update.

"D'you think he's awake?"

"Sh- I think that this might be it."

"I still can't believe it. I mean- this has got to be impossible, right?"

"Shut up George- you'll upset him!"

"Quiet, both of you! He's coming around!"

"Oah," I groaned, my eyes opened to slits and the white- washed room blurring in front of me. A handful of people were crowded around me, staring with concerned silence. Oh- but what was that? There was two of one of them, each wearing matching grins. "Oah- this can't be right. Why- why are there two of you?"

"Hey there- old buddy old pal," one of them said skittishly.

The room came into focus and suddenly I remembered everything, at least everything of what I knew.

"Oh, no," the other said. "Five, four, three, two, one-"

I lunged.

"Let me at them! LET ME AT THEM!" I hollered, sitting up from the rolling bed I was in. I swung my fists wildly- almost sleepily. The room spun. I was not thinking clearly. The two twins obviously took several steps backward to be safe.

*Pause and Reflect*

In my confusion, several things went unnoticed. For instance, the sheet that was somehow wound tightly around my waist. It did not go well when I attempted to stand up.

"Oohf!"

"Oliver!" they chorused.

My head ached and I was entangled in a bed of sheets. The loud thump was my body smacking against the cold floors. It felt and looked absolutely rediculous. I still had my feet up in the air on the bed. Stone doesn't generally taste good.

I heard another clanging of sounds, but didn't dare to look up. I may have been sick, but I wasn't stupid. Bad things happen to good people, right?

It was then that I felt a crushing weight and heard the spinning of squeaky wheels from above me. Yes, I was pinned by rolling hospital bed. And having a twenty pound piece of metal rolled up your ass is no picnic. Add to that the suffocating abillities of thick sheets and you've got yourself a mighty big problem.

"Where is he?"

"We've got to get you out of there!"

"Say something!"

"Where's Madame Pomfrey?"

I groaned loudly. It took them all quite a while before they lifted the bed, and even longer to get me out of the sheets. What are friends for? It took all of their strength to lift me up and place me halfway on the bed, and I won't say that it was a bed of roses. My back ached horribly.

"Wood, name the youngest keeper in the world to successfully beat the entire British league?" Angelina's voice rang clear and urgent.

I heard crickets chirping loudly outside of the window. Fred and George, my head kept reminding me.

"Why isn't he answering? WHY ISN'T HE ANSWERING?"

"He must be out cold..."

I hand reached to my forehead but I smacked it away. I sat up again and this time untucked the sheets from my waist. Determination was brewing in my eyes, I had to get to them.

"Where is Fred and George? I need- deep breath- to kill them," I said shakily.

"Er, Wood? They just left. And I think that it'd be a really good idea if you just laid back down," Angelina said calmly. She pushed back her black hair with her hand and gave me a pleading look. "I think that wall hit you pretty hard."

"You don't understand- I have to find th- What wall?"

She raised her eyebrows and took a cautious step backwards. There was more silence.

"C'mon, some one has to tell me," I almost ordered.

Katie- yes Katie- stepped forward to present me with my humiliation. She threw me a pitiful look as she edged forward. "Erm, I'm not quite sure what the whole story is, but we found you lying down a corridor near the astronomy tower. Apparently, you hit a wall... and it hit you back."

"What?!"

"You must have been really angry. The wall said that you had been cursing and sputtering when you slammed your fist into its exterior," Angelina came again.

"When it thought that you were attacking it, it hit you back. But you helped- you ran into it blindly," Katie explained.

"Oh," I said quietly. I should be crowned Mr. Smooth. I upset Katie, lost a major quidditch opportunity, ran into a wall that decided to beat me back and managed to get pinned underneath a hospital bed all in the same day. I am so good.

"Did I really run into a wall?" I laughed.

"Yes."

I laughed even harder. So this is what it feels like to become a complete idiot. At least I've learned one thing about myself, if it weren't for quidditch I'd be a complete klutz. I let my shoulders sag and stared at the friends pressed around me. TeeHee, more laughter.

"Maybe we should leave him alone," Alicia whispered to Angelina. "I think he's gone mental."

"No- I'm just- weird today."

"You're telling me," Katie muttered. I smiled slightly at her, but she still had a frown on her face.

"I'm sorry, everyone. Happy fuzzy, good, warm, feelings to everyone. I hope your day is enjoyable," I said cheerfully. And on that note, I successfully left the bed and walked down the hall, turning on my heel at the doorway. Just one foot closer to Fred and George...

An: Ef, short chap. GIVE ME ADVICE! I'm so in the blue- this is what happens when you post a fic with out having a plan on what's going to happen next. ::smacks self in head:: Fool. r/r!


	6. I AM the lion

Chapter 6: I AM the lion...

Disclaimer: I... Demetre Ironhilt and sole owner of the keyboard typing these words... Do Not Own Harry Potter. K?

A/n: Wow, some of y'all gave me really good reviews. I feel pretty darn special... Happy fuzzy, good, warm, feelings to everyone, who reviewd! Lol... now where were we? Oh yes:

...Just one foot closer to Fred and George.

Filch, that was the only answer. If anyone knew where they were, then it would be him. Although I must note that with all the scrapes Fred and George have gotten in to, the amount of times that Filch actually caught them were few in number. Nevertheless, my determination and hot- headedness got the better of me. Glaring at the stone walls that flew past me in a rushed blur ("blasted stone!"), I hastened myself to his office, the back of my smock flapping behind me. I'd been there once before when my broom was confiscated in my second year. I wasn't supposed to have brought one with me unless I was on the quidditch team, and I wasn't then. Its still difficult to think of me without quidditch, I guess that things haven't changed so much. Anger that was rushing through me now was the same that powered me to get my broom back that year. I think I may have truly scared Filch.

I rounded a corner and stepped on something too fuzzy to be a carpet- his cat. It screeched wildly and ran away into the safe and comforting zone between Filch's legs (Although I wouldn't describe that zone as safe or comfortable...). Filch snarled, gray, limp hair strewn over his face like a wild beast.

"What do ya want?!" he snarled again as his cat hissed venemously.

"I would like to know-"

"No," he barked.

"Pardon?"

"No. You step on my cat, I want an apology."

I rolled my eyes. "Mr. Filch, I am so terribly sorry that I happened to step on your cat just a minute ago. I promise you that I will use all of my power and will to reassure you that it shan't happen again. And under the circumstances, if I should break that promise, then I will repent-"

"Enough! I didn't ask for sarcasm. God knows Mrs. Norris didn't appreciate it." He looked at me warily, probably remembering our last encounter. "Don't got time for nuffink you have to say. Be on your way!"

"I just wanted to know if you knew where Fred and George are," I shot out.

His eyes narrowed to menacing slits. "Weasely brothers, eh? I'm glad I don't. Its the highlight of my day. But if you do find them doing sumfink that they shouldn't, you give me a quick holler." He laughed hoarsely. "Get on with yourself!"

I grunted in displeasure, but walked past him none the same. Where were all the helpful people in the world? Probably playing quidditch.

...Quidditch...

^o^

Where would they go? Where I couldn't. I hustled myself outside to the quidditch field, my quidditch field. I owned that it field. It was mine- all of it! Maniacle laughter escaped my lips. Revenge... at last. I stepped onto my field.

Lucious green grass crunched softly under my bare feet, the sky shown bright and the wind was low, perfect quidditch conditions. I kneeled down low, and grasped a handful of the grass. My kingdom, my dominion. I was tempted to kiss the ground, but stopped myself not on the account of sanity, but on the account that I just spotted a head of red hair. I crouched low, possibly they had not seen me here. My white hospital gown would blend in so well with the vividly green grass. As far as I was concerned, mentally I was a part of the grass- no one could spot me.

My eyes narrowed to slits as the gryffindor in me took over. Fred and George were in view not far away, each holding a broom and obviously argueing with eachother. I smirked- infidels! Ingrates! Watch them try to play me for the fool that I am! I scuffled forward inch by inch- they were so close.

One of them looked in my direction, as if they were staring me in the eye. But that was impossible because neither could spot me! One twin nudged the other and they both seemed as if they were staring at me, but I knew better than to trust my instincts. I was practically invisible.

My heart began to drum, I could wait no longer. I jumped up from my protection amongst the grass with an almighty roar.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" I snarled, holding my hands at menacing length.

One blinked.

"Grrrrrrrrr-" I tried again.

He put his hand over my mouth. "You- NEED- HELP!"

I took a step back, and dropped my arms. That surprisingly shut me up. Did I just growl at Fred and George? They burst out laughing as I straightened up, patting down my smock. I could feel my burning cheeks turning red.

"I guess I got a little bit ahead of myself there," I admitted, jocular.

"You s-sure did!" Fred got out between guffaws.

A smiled amiably. "Yes, I can't kill you by growling at you!" I lunged at them, all of the anger rolling back inside my system.

"Woah there!" George shrieked as his brother was pummeled with an almighty thud. It was the first time I had ever really seen Fred scared, his eyes were as wide as saucers as he fought me.

George's arms fumbled to get me off of him, but it was to know avail. I am the grass... I am the lion... I heard him sigh, frustrated.

"Yenga!" George yelled. I looked up just in time to see a fuzzy pink haze travel for me. The next moment I was on my back, feeling slightly nauseous. Fred stood up with much difficulty, rubbing the shoulder I had bruised. I stood up quickly, ready to attack again.

"Hold on!" George mediated. He thrust his broom under my chin. "Be kind, Wood. You said you wanted to be normal- beating up my brother is not normal, neither is it healthy."

"Normal? You want to talk about normal?!" I demanded, settling myself into a calmer state. "I- I - I-" was at a loss for words. I was embarrassed, and angry. "I have been embarassed, and I'm very angry!"

"We believe you," Fred put in, rubbing his bleeding lip quickly. "But it is not our fault that you hit that wall-"

"- And it hit you back-"

"-Or that you fell out of bed-"

"-Or that you tried to attack as a lion," George finished slyly. "Remind me to get some of that 'special' pumpkin juice of Madame Pomfrey's- it looks useful."

"It is too your fault!" I stomped my foot. I'm convinced that tantrums actually get you somewhere. "You made me sign that stupid contract!"

"You didn't have to sign it," said Fred reasonably.

"Yeah, but you said that I could be normal if I did-"

"No we didn't," put in George. "We said that you had to do everything that we say, and that it would help you impress Katie."

"But now that we know what happens when you break the contract, we'll just rip it up," said Fred. He pulled out a damned piece of parchment, held it up to the light, and then ripped it down the center.

"What?!" I yelled. "That contract has put me through more hell in the past day than- than- Marcus Flint and you two put together!" I said, enraged. "Was this just a fluke? Please do not tell me that you're planning on selling something like this for your joke shop?"

"Fine, we won't tell you," said George happily. "Now then, how are things with Katie?"

I sank to me knees and held my head in my hands. "You don't understand," I said angstfully. "I just- I just made a complete fool of myself. I tried to attack you- I thought I was a bloody lion! I ran into a wall, I lost an amazing quidditch oppurtunity! I fell out of a hospital bed! And don't even start me on Katie, I'm sure she utterly loathes me by now!" I took deep breathes hoping to calm myself.

The twins looked at me sympathetically. "Look mate," Fred started in an unconvincing tone. "George and I have attacked people loads of times pretending to be lions. Just loads! Right George?"

"Right- o!"

"And I know that I've seen at least one of my brothers run into a wall-" Fred continued.

"Yes he has!" George agreed.

"And the hospital bed... well I'm sure Katie can't _completely_ loathe you." Fred looked ruefully at me.

"Why can't she?"

"Because she likes you," George said simply.

"Really?" I asked.

"Of course she does- everyone likes Oliver Wood! Except for select Gryffindors at 4 in the morning on a rainy day during quidditch runs," Fred reasoned. "Did you ever know that you're my hero?" he sang out.

Okay, that was a little too enthusiastic. "I'd love to believe you guys, but I can't. I will never be the normal wizard that I strive to be. I will live alone, in the wilderness where no one will be able to find me ("unless you use a locator spell"-Fred). And there I will dissolve into nothingness, never knowing how to truly live-"

"That's a touching story, Wood," George said, pretending to wipe away a tear. "But that will never get you anywhere. Take it from me and my brother, becoming depressed will not solve your problems. And boy, do you have problems."

I scowled at him. "I know that I have problems. The question is, are you finally going to help me? In a way that actually works?"

Fred cleared his throat. "You have to behave yourself. This look (he waved his hand around his face) is not the most appealing with this face. You can control yourself, can't you?"

"Sure," I said easily.

"My friend," George patted me on the back. "I believe that it is time."

"You are worthy of our cause, so how's about a quick flying lesson?" Fred asked.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

"Some words are better shared up there," Fred pointed to the sky. "Grab your broom so we can teach and you can learn."

I grinned before turning back to the castle.

"And for MERLIN'S sake, Man! Tie up that smock or change out if it! No one wants to see that!"

An: Ahhh! I had too many ideas for this chapter so its kinda scrambled! Ugh, I actually had too much to put in. You know, I think that I might have problems. I have no idea why I made Oliver roar like a lion- I blame it on Madame Pomfrey's "special juice", okay? Oliver is supposed to be disoriented. Sure. Hehehe. Untied hospital gown. Hehehe. Yeah- I'm not immature.

By The Way Guys! Its my Birthday! So REVIEW and MAKE ME HAPPY! (tell me what you think of this chapter, am I slipping? I need feedback!) I have decided, virtual birthday party for everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Wee!

Quidditch: A piece of cake for_ you_. Ooh, I am so glad that you like my story, I hope this chapter lives up to your standards, thanks for one of the best reviews ever!

BoPeep: A piece of cake for you. It will be katie/ oliver. I think… no I'm sure. =P

nortshell: A piece of cake for_ you. _Thanks for putting me on the site! You rock!

Keladry: A piece of cake for_ you._ Is this enough? Kudos for the idea, I liked it. And don't worry, fluffiness (but sane, Oliver Wood fluffiness) is in store!

Megx: A piece of cake for_ you. _As always, you're awesome! Thanks for reviewing my fic. And hey, we didn't get to see him in a kilt, but we did get to see him in a hospital gown! Classy!

Scarlett Darling: A piece of cake for_ you. _Yes, yes, I love that part too... Hoped you liked this chapter! Sorry for the wait!

Sunnyflower2005: A piece of cake for_ you_. I updated! You're so cool, great review- made me feel all special!

ChoChanger: A piece of cake for_ you_. You are the BEST! Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou! For reviewing all the chapters of all my stories! Here's me email: Jenji@prodigy.net You should email me some time so we can chat! Weee!


	7. Analyze This

Chapter 7: Analyze This

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or the title of this chapter.

A/n: Wow, guys. I really have no words. Oh, wait! Yes I do! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! THANKYOU! THANKYOU! It was the best brithday ever, my reviews more than doubled! I could cry... But I won't. I'll just make one of the charcters cry. No, I won't. This is a happy fic. I think. Yes. Happy. Fuzzy. Good. Must- Get- Into- Mind- Focus!

~ANything in italics, are his thoughts. Except for that little flashback.

-*~*~*-

I am serendipitous (!) to admit that whilst on my journey to recovering my broom, I did manage to succeed without adventuring into some complicated twist of events involving stunts from the movie Mission Impossible. Of course, I probably wouldn't have been able to pull it off wearing a gown anyway. As much as I like the sported look of wearing such a catastrophe out in public (I avoided no less than four cat calls) I had finally changed into conventional quidditch attire, which thankfully did not require tying up the back end so as to not scare away your head of house.

I strutted back onto the quidditch field with Fred and George who had retrieved several quaffles from the supply closet.

"Are you ready?" Fred asked, eyeing me bemusedly.

"Sure," I said confidently, mounting my broom. I kicked off into the air, feeling the air beat against my face. What a thrill! Behind me I sensed Fred and George follow suit. A slight buzz humming from their brooms signified that they were pulling up beside me. "So where are we going?"

"Right here is fine," said George, tossing up and down his quaffle.

"Now what?" I asked, shielding the sun from my eyes with my hand.

Fred threw George a secretive glance before answering me. "Your goal is to be normal- correct?" I nodded enthusiastically. "Then we need to figure out what to change about you to lower you to a _sane_ level of normalcy. Thankfully, one that does not involve sadistic lion predators or men who sing at themselves in the mirror."

Wasn't it obvious? Quidditch was what's wrong with me!

"Now we play the game," George said sagely. He threw the quaffle at me and glided to my opposite so that we were facing each other.

I raised an eyebrow. More childish games, I didn't have time for this. Reluctantly, I sighed. It was the love of the game that got me into this mess in the first place.

"The rules are-"

"I know how to play quidditch," I interupted.

Fred sighed, fiddling with his quaffle while he spoke. "Just shut up," he said obnoxiously. I shut my mouth. He laid back until his back was resting on the broom. "We're going to say a word. Say the first thing that comes to mind."

"Oh," I mouthed.

George smiled mischievously. "Quidditch-"

How did he expect me to answer that? I bit my lip to keep myself from choking on words.

"Quidditch-" George repeated eagerly.

"-Field!" I managed.

"Very good, that was just a tester. Now let's see about this," George continued. "Field-" He tempted with an obvious air of arrogance.

"Quidditch."

"Hm," Fred thought aloud. "I would never expect him to say _that_."

George rolled his eyes crossly. "Don't be difficult, brother dear."

"Sorry," Fred shot spitefully.

"Moving on... Fun."

"Quidditch," I answered again.

"Sport."

"Quidditch"

"Butterbeer."

"Quidditch."

By now, they had become very interested in watching me answer. "D'you think his mind functions outside of the field?" Fred asked.

"Oliver," George said slowly. "You need to start thinking outside of the box. Ring- field!- whatever. It doesn't make sense for you to think of quidditch imediately after the word 'butterbeer' is mentioned."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because it just isn't right."

"Why not?"

George laughed. "Its just not right."

"Oh."

"Let's try this again..." Those words may have been the worst he's ever spoken. After far too many rounds of George attempting to get me to say something besides quidditch, he was tremendously bothered. "School.... house... war... pet... troll... candle... Voldemort for Merlin's sake!"

"Quidditch, quidditch, quiditch, quidditch, quidditch, quidditch, and... regretfully, quidditch."

"Aha!" Fred yelled. "I have reached a diagnosis!"

"What does he have?" George asked with mock enthusiasm.

"Oliver, have you ever heard of the term... obsession?" Fred asked.

__

*flash*

I saw myself sitting in a whitewashed room with five other people all in a circle, smiling and wringing my hands nervously. "Hi, my name's Oliver, and I'm obsessed with quidditch..."

"Hello Oliver," they chorused.

*end flash*

"I don't believe it! He is not obsessed! He can't only think about quidditch! This is a school," George argued. He turned to me. "Destiny!" He barked in my face.

"Quidditch," I said calmly and simply.

Fred smirked. "Girl," he said.

"Katie," I slipped.

The amount of noise those two could make was unhealthy. They imediately let out shouts of accomplishment, whilst I turned red.

"Sh!" hushed George and they both stopped. "Enemy!"

"Walls," I said with such malice that the wind quivered.

"So he thinks about sports, girls, and walls!" Fred said happily, as if he had just figured out some puzzle. Me, I was just lost in a pit of anger. Damn wall...

"Maybe we should try a different approach. How to improve, and this is where I come in," said Fred with giddiness. "A: don't think so much about quidditch."

Hello smart ones, that didn't exactly work before, now did it? "And how do I do this without binding my mortal soul to a contract that has an uncanny thirst for pain?"

Fred looked at me as seriously as one of the twins could (not very, mind you). "Oliver, you just have to try this on your own. I don't want to hear a thing about it, not one, but I want you to try. Just do it." He shrugged his fragmented sentence off as if it were nothing. "Now, what was the last grade you got on your charms paper?"

"It was a passing grade," I said defensively.

"How passing?" George asked.

I looked around at the sky, now turning from an orange speckled blue to pink. "To tell you the truth (ok, something at least close to it) I couldn't really tell. There were blobs, all it really looked like was a couple of splintered broomsticks pieced together-"

I stopped at their piercing glares. Alright, more broomsticks. Perhaps not the best way to start getting over quidditch.

"Well, whatever it is," Fred said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sure it wasn't good enough."

"Thanks for your support."

"I'm not being crude." Fred laughed and took a moment to recover himself. "But Oliver, I'm going to let you in on a bit of advice that you can not repeat, ever, to another human being. Or non human for that matter. You need to study."

The words rang strange and harsh falling from Fred's lips of all wizards. Fred was the master of evading study, save his equally talented twin. A part of me was offended. It wasn't like I'd never heard the word before, or put it to good use of my time. "I study!"

"What was it you said the other day, George, about teaching him how to lie?" Fred asked.

"Another time, perchance," said George.

"Even so," Fred said, rising, "You're not going to have me say it again- those foulest of foul words... But you need to listen to them. And do it. Every night."

"Right!" I agreed, open to their suggestion.

"Second, as soon as we get the chance, we're taking you to Hogsmeade."

"You mean this weekend?"

"No. Tomorrow."

"But the Hogsmeade trip is this weekend."

"So?" edged George.

"So- the Hogsmeade trip isn't until this Saturday."

"And again I ask you- so?" Said George sarcastically.

"How?"

"Magic," they chorused.

"Alright. Although I don't know how much good that will do. We have quidditch practice the next morning- Ow!" I rubbed the side of my shoulder where Fred had pummeled me one. "What the bloody hell was that for?!"

"Well, one could say I asked you just now to NOT think so much about quidditch- or I could say that was for attacking me earlier. Either way, you end up with a bruised shoulder. The lesson is, don't think about quidditch," Fred said.

"That- that doesn't make any sense!" I exclaimed.

"Oliver- don't change the subject! We're here to make sense of you, not us," George said. I simply nodded, making sense of those two could take... centuries. And even then, I'm not sure anything would be accomplished.

"Third thing, you need to talk to your Katie- girl."

"She is not my 'Katie- girl'!"

"But you want her to be, don't ya? Don't ya?" (George)

I took a moment to be flustered, waving my hands around the air. "I-"

"How would you feel if she were my Katie- girl?" Fred asked.

"I think I'd pummel you again, right here and now-!"

"I didn't ask what you'd do, moron. I asked how you'd feel."

"I'd be... jealous. Definitely jealous."

"Aha! So you do want her to be your Katie- girl!" George put in.

"I do not!" was my lame protest.

"Then you just don't want her to be with anyone else?"

"Yeah!"

"That's a bit selfish, don't you think?"

"So?"

"So you do want her to be your Katie- girl!"

"Listen here, you! If anything, I'd want her to be my girlfriend, not my Katie- girl!" I growled, grabbing George by the collar. He smiled widely.

"Oh my, brother, a love interest. Things are starting to get intense! This is just like that episode of 'Days of Our Lives' when C-" Fred started.

"What?!" I asked, whirling around and dropping George back on his broom. "There is no love interest here! You sick, twisted, benign cysts-"

"Now, now Oliver! There is no need for name calling," Fred said smugly.

"You just called me a moron five seconds ago!"

"No use, either, in getting too wrapped up in the past, eh?"

Being with these two for more than just ten minutes, was enough to make any man go crazy if not stark raving mad. They were mad! Completely! And I could barely hold a conversation with either one of them!

"I'm done! Goodbye," I called, flying lower.

"Wait! We're not done with you yet. This has all been a test, Oliver," George said. I stopped. "And according to my notes, I've concluded that you are a class 'B' Hostility Instigate."

"Well those words sound pretty, but what does that all mean?" I asked, impatient.

"It means that you use your anger as a channel. Yes, yes, its all built up in there- all inside of you. You have normalcy, but it only can come out when you're pissed. Simple, really," George continued to explain.

It sounded sane. But could it be true?

"I know what you're thinking. Is this the key to finding your inner child?" Fred asked. I stared blankly ahead, did I have an inner child? "How many times, when we were riling you about Katie, did you take a moment to think about quidditch?"

"Yeah, and how long did it take before you realized we were annoying the hell outta you?" George asked.

It all seemed to make perfect sense. Anger is normal. Katie is normal. Liking Katie is normal. Being disturbed by Fred and George is (and always will be) normal. Normal, normal, normal.

"I think we may be done."

"What? Why? We were actually making progress," I complained, sitting up too fast on my broom. I swung myself so fast over the handle I did a barrel row.

Fred rolled his eyes. "How can you be so blind? The sun has already set- and _some one_ has been waiting for you to be finished _all day_." He nodded his head to the side.

Katie Bell paced at the foot of the field, her hair still up in the same ponytail I saw her in everyday. For once I was not making a fool of myself, I treasured the rare moment.

"Wipe that goofy smile off of your face and go talk to her," said George.

"And don't mess up," Fred added.

"Never forget what we taught you!" his twin rushed in.

"Be yourself- but not."

I looked from face to face as they spoke.

"Woo her-"

"A serenade!" Fred waved his hands around dramatically.

"Something _romantic_."

"And sophisticated."

"Make it a night she won't forget," said George with an excited grin.

"Don't choke, they thrive fear..."

"Bite the bullet!" George said with a wink.

"George! Watch it! You'll make the poor boy frightened," Fred jokingly said in a motherly tone. "Now, go get 'em tiger." Or should it have been lion?

I ought to have been frightened. But I wasn't. I was on my quidditch field, afterall. What could go wrong? Behind me I heard the twins snigger, one of them had made an obvious growl which reminded me of my earlier... complication.

I drifted to the ground simply, I didn't even stumble while dismounting my broom. Katie pretended to have been travelling in the opposite direction, probably so I'd have to go after her.

"Katie!" I called. She turned around, looking surprised. Women were so complicated, if you want to talk to some one, just _talk _to them. Why did it always have to be guy after girl? Truth be told, it wasn't fair for me to even think that, I had tons of girls after me... But Katie was different, why couldn't she be one of my many admirers? I actually _liked_ her. But then I thought, if Katie didn't like me, then why couldn't she approach me like a normal person? Perhaps she didn't just want to _talk_ to me. Palms sweaty, I felt my throat constrict. Endless possibilities drifted through my daft head. Brain cells, and I could feel them, were evacuating into nothingness.

And all because Katie Bell was coming over to "talk" to me.

"Hey Wood, feeling better?"

"Much," I squawked. _ I am not a bird! Lion- remember, Wood? You are the lion. _ "So what are you doing?" I asked in a voice not my own. It reeked of false manliness.

"Walking," she said, laughing. _Was she laughing at me? No, Wood, who else could she be laughing at_? "I came down to see if you were okay. You caused quite a scene earlier."

I nodded. "I was daft."

"You always were," she said. "About quidditch of course. That game has made you crazy, I swear."

"But it is just a game," I replied smoothly, from when I had practiced earlier. My throat didn't hurt so badly now.

"Oh really? I never thought that I'd see the day when I'd hear Oliver Wood say that quidditch was just a game. Are you sure that you're still not daft?"

"Only slightly. I know that other things can make me crazy besides quidditch," I said surely. Wait, what the hell just came out of my mouth? I don't say things like that to Katie. In fact, I don't say things like that to anyone! What if she thinks that I'm hitting on her? But I am hitting on her! Oh Merlin!

Katie smiled. _ Score, I made her smile!_ "Like what?"

"Uh... butterbeer."

"Are you referring to the time in fifth year when we lost that game to Slytherin and later you snuck off to Hogsmeade to the Three Broomsticks -" she started slyly.

"No!" I said, startled. No use in bringing up past mistakes, especially not that particular one. Yes, butterbeer can have a bad effect on me when consumed in mass quantities. It should not be used to treat flesh wounds, either... I smartly figured that one out the hard way. The very hard way.

"Well then, what else?" She challenged.

"What makes me crazy?" I repeated, scratching my neck. Why did I have to run my mouth off? Those few moments were the worst of my life. I just stood there, not doing anything excepting for telepathically willing Voldemort to pop out of the ground and Avada Kedavra me right then and there. Katie awaited my answer with rapt attention. It was too bad I had to let her down. "Uh... er. Well..."

"Yes?"

"Erm... ah..." I ran through all the vowels in the alphabet. And then I repeated. Finally, "I have no idea what else." My shoulders sagged. Now I couldn't even talk to her? What _was_ my damage?

"You know, there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up this weekend," she said after a second pause. Her eyes shined dark and beautiful in the night. Of course, I pick this moment to get caught up in them, the time for me to make a move.

"Wood?"

"I'm sorry," I snapped out of it. Katie's face seemed to have lost that sparkle, she was avoiding looking at my own. "I guess I better go put my broom up. Man, I'm tired."

She smiled weakly. "You do that."

"See ya," I said, turning around. It was too late for me to ask her... too late. Damn, I pick the funniest times to notice the error in my ways.

Fred and George flew up quickly in front of me, still holding their quaffles.

"Oi _Wood_!" Fred called. Katie also turned behind me, I sense.

"_You forgot your balls,_" George said gritting his teeth. I stole an instant to digest what they had said. It sounded so... suggestive. As usual, my face reddened. But then they each threw a quaffle at me. I dropped them both after subsequently catching them, along with my broom.

Fred kept glaring at me as if I were missing something. Something obvious that only I could miss. George was egging me on, twirling around his wand with his now free hand. They flew off dangerously with a mad glint in their eyes.

I faced Katie once more, and only hoped that the adrenaline pumping through my veins would last long enough for me to ask her one simple question. "So, would you like to go with me this weekend to Hogsmeade?"

******

So much to say, so little time. You ppl have no idea how worried I was about this chapter! You all left me such great reviews, and I didn't want to let you down! (fake tear, oh the corniness....) But what did you really think? I was struggling to captivate the true essence of inner conflict in Oliver Wood- lol! No, Demetre, Oliver Wood is just deranged... And yes! I mentioned Voldemorts name! Now this is a true HP fic. But don't worry, the mentioning of Voldemort is strictly for my amusement. THIS FIC WILL NOT END IN THE DESTRUCTION OF THE DARK LORD! Weeeeeeee!

Now I have to ask you: Are you all awaiting major fluffiness? Let me know! cuz i can do fluffiness, if u want it. Or not. You guys tell me.

Questions: Email me at Jenji@prodigy.net


	8. Stubborn

****

Chapter 8: Stubborn

"So, would you like to go with me this weekend to Hogsmeade?"

I watched, in terror, as Katie's smile slowly faded from her face. "No way," she said slowly, peering at something over my shoulder. I frowned.

"Really?" I asked, scratching my head like I always do when I get really nervous or embarrassed. Suddenly I felt a cold chill threaten the pit of my stomach. Beads of sweat started to form at my forehead. _Oh, this must be so attractive..._

Katie covered her hand with her mouth, as if she was terrified. "Oliver..."

"No, its ok," I said, oblivious to the billowing dark clouds forming behind me, and blaming that sick sense of dread on the fact that I had been turned down and was now standing there like and idiot. _Run_! I screamed to myself. "If you don't want to go out with me, I understand. I mean, I was a total jerk earlier..." I said in a voice not my own.

"Oliver!" she barked.

"What?" I asked, resigned.

"Look!"

I turned around. Two hooded figures were slowly gliding over to us. I felt Katie come up behind me and clutch my shoulders.

"What the bloody hell?" I wondered aloud. Fred and George had already flown off of the quidditch grounds, I could see them making their way back to the castle.

"Lets go," Katie whispered in my ear.

My stomach didn't feel so weird anymore. I felt defiant, as if, if I hadn't stood there to face whatever was really gnawing at me, I wouldn't be the Oliver Wood that I was. "I'm not moving," I said, barely making an effort to reach for my wand.

"What?!" she asked, hitting my shoulder. "There isn't time to be a stupid git, let's go!" She nudged my shoulder.

"I-" I didn't want to move. Believe it or not, Katie was on my shoulder. I do believe that that's the closest I've ever been to her.

"Oliver!" She tugged one of my hands free and that's when I snapped out of it. As the two came closer, and that fear increased, I half pushed her forward to give her a start.

"Go!" I snapped. We were both running as fast as our legs could carry us. I caught up to her within moments, my legs being slightly longer. Soon I was pulling her along, but I wouldn't let go of her hand if Viktor Krum himself paid me.

I heard an odd hissing sound behind me, and felt Katie speed up next to me. Soon we were in front of the doors leading into Hogwarts. I opened one with my free hand, and guided her in with the other she had been holding. She helped me close the door behind us, a loud bang ringing down the hall and awaking several of the nearby portraits.

The moment our relief sounded, she was leaning against one of the castle walls, her hands on her knees, catching her breath.

"You okay?" I asked, nearly as out of breath as she. The difference was that I had a big grin on my face for no apparent reason. She half nodded, still looking down. I comfortably put my hand on her back.

"You," she breathed, "are absolutely crazy!"

"Yeah, just a little," I said.

"We could have died out there," she said with a serious expression. "What were you thinking?!"

"You really want to know?" I asked. She finally looked up, her cheeks flushed from running and hair sloppily placed everywhere. "Actually I was thinking why you wouldn't go with me to Hogsmeade."

"You almost got us killed!" she exclaimed, trying to sound angry.

"Then I suppose you should have said yes," I said to her, laughing. Her face broke, she smiled. "Your hair..."

"What about my hair?"

"Its everywhere," I said between laughter.

"How can you think about hair at a time like this?" She asked, running a hand over it to smooth it down.

"What other time would I think about hair?"

She shook her head. "You _are _bizarre."

"Its not as if we're in any danger."

"We were!"

"That's right, we were. And doesn't it feel great to have that close of a brush with death?"

"Its not worth it if its going to mess up my hair," she joked.

"You say that I'm bizarre..."

"Well you are! If a pack of dementors came up to me all creepy, do you think that I would be really all that stressed about whether or not I was going to Hogsmeade with some one?" She asked smartly.

"Excuse me?" I started to walk down the corridor, avoiding angry looks from portraits. "First of all, there wasn't a pack, there was only two of them. And second, it wasn't an 'if they were going with me to Hogsmeade or not', you particularly said 'no way'."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did." _Just keep digging the hole, Wood_.

"Well excuse me if I was a bit distracted by the two dementors that were about to suck our bloody souls from our bodies'! I wasn't exactly concentrating on the question that you asked me." She crossed her arms.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not crazy, that's why."

"You're hair is crazy," I commented.

"And what are you? Mr. Perfection?"

"Nah, but I come pretty close."

She snorted. "That's right."

"Damn straight." I put my hands in my pockets, climbing the stairs that had appeared before us. It was amazing, time flew when I was with her. "So when you say that you were 'distracted by Dementors'...?"

"I never got to seriously answer your question," she cut me off. I waited for her to continue as we walked up the stairs. I stopped before I could reach the top stair.

"Well?" I asked, hoping, just hoping.

"Well what?" She asked, turning to face me.

"Are you ever going to answer my question?"

"What question?"

My shoulders dropped. "If you don't want to go with me, then you should just say so," I said, getting agitated. Was this the way to ask a girl out? Twice?

"Oh no, Oliver, don't get me wrong. I was just teasing you," she said quickly. She uncrossed her arms while I waited another eternity to answer my question.

"_Well_?" I questioned again. "Its just-"

"I'm trying to remember what question it was that you wanted me to answer," she mocked, biting her lip. "Oh yes. How about at seven o'clock in the morning before school starts?"

"What?"

"I thought you wanted to know what other time you would think about hair." She smiled cheekily and started tapping her foot.

I groaned aloud. "I think _you're _the reason that I've been driven so crazy." Stomping back up the stairs, I threw my hands over my head.

"I can't be that bad."

I stopped when I didn't hear her footsteps follow up behind me. "What are you waiting for?"

"A question."

"I just asked you a question," I pointed out.

"And I just answered it. I'm waiting for an- unanswered- question," she stressed.

"Unanswered?" I raised my eyebrows. "Well alright then. I suppose I'll see you here tomorrow then." Turning, I headed back up the stairs.

"Oliver, don't be difficult," she ordered, catching up to me.

"_I'm _being difficult?"

"Yeah. Can't you just ask me out like a normal wizard?"

"Who ever said anything about asking any one else out on a date?"

"I didn't mention date."

"Well-" I stopped short of my sentence. We weren't getting anywhere with this. "Katie, I think that I'm just going to come right out and say it. Would you like to go to Hogsmeade-"

"What do we have here? More students out of bed at this hour! What is the world coming to?" Filch cackled evilly. "I guess that means detentions for both of you, McGonigall definitely won't be too happy."

We both froze. Leave it to Filch to outdo a couple of Dementors.

"Well be off with you, she'll give you your assignments tomorrow," said Filch. He slid into the space between Katie and I, leaving us both stunned.

She whistled. "What luck!"

"Oh Katie, I'm sorry," I apologized.

"Hey its not your fault we were out this late. I'm sure if we explain to McGonigall that we were running for our lives, she'll understand."

~~~~~

"...You were outside?! AFTER HOURS?!"

We cringed simultaneously, seeing McGonigall's wrinkles go ridged behind her glasses. "What were you thinking??! I'm afraid that this is unacceptable, even for you, Oliver. And YOU Ms. Bell, I'm astounded..."

"...Detentions!... ALL Weekend..."

Katie gave me a sympathetic glance. _So much for Hogsmeade..._

~~~~~

A/n: I have no excuse for my absentee, but this fic is NOT dead, I swear! I know this chapter is really short, but I can promise more. Basically just Oliver/ Katie banter. Sorry if it wasn't that funny, humor MAY return shortly. Hahaha. 'Detention's' should take place next chapter. Please review, for those of you who still care!


	9. Encounter With An Angry Rhinoceros

****

Chapter 9: Encounter Of The Angry Rhinoceros

****

A/n: Alright, so I'm a dirty rotten liar. I said that they would be serving detentions in this chapter, but I forgot about how I promised Fred and George that they'd get to sneak him off to Hogsmeade on Friday, which technically isn't part of the weekend, correct? So I'm sorry, they won't be slaving away just yet. I'm not sure how far I'll get with this Hogsmeade thing, it is, after all, infiltrated with some nasty dementors right about now. Bullocks, this could take a turn for the worse. ::Hangs head tragically:: Onward with fic!

Mucho thanks to my reviewers! I love you all!

~~~~~

I made my way up the stairs to the dorms whistling to myself. Undoubtedly, the night had been a total and complete disaster- but some good had come from it.

"Land sakes, George, he's alive!" some one screamed as I past the fifth year rooms. Fred sprinted out from his room, a considerable amount of dirt tainting his grinning face. "Good to see you, mate," he greeted, shaking my hand enthusiastically.

"Yea, we were afraid you might not have made it," George added.

"Thanks for your lovely support," I said sarcastically. I moved to get to my room, but they blocked my path. "What is it?" I asked, annoyed.

"How did it go?" George asked.

I looked at him incredulously. "How did it go? What do you _mean _how did it go?"

"Did she say yes?" Fred asked slowly, as if the question was too complex for a simple- minded wizard like me to comprehend.

"We were a bit distracted," I said through gritted teeth.

"What, did you not even ask her?" Fred, again.

"I would like to go to bed, if you please."

"Come on, tell us!" George whined like an excited little boy.

"Ask McGonigal, I just spent the last twenty minutes in her office explaining myself."

Both of their faces broke out into matching, knowing smirks.

"Ooooh, pay up Fred- told you they'd get caught snogging," George said smugly, holding out his hand to his brother. Fred, looking dismayed, shook his head and reached his hand into one of his pockets.

"We were _not _caught making out," I said, getting even more agitated.

George covered his mouth with his hand, biting back laughter. "Geez, Oliver, we only wanted you to ask her out- we didn't mean for you to end up sh-"

I punched him in the shoulder. "And you will _not _finish that sentence!"

He rubbed it soothingly with a pained expression.

"You should be proud," Fred said with a thoughtful glance inside his pocket, still reaching for his money. He pulled out a small ball the size of a marble that was as clear as glass.

"Nothing of those sorts happened," said I. "If their was any kissing to be going on, it would sooner have been between me and the fifty or so dementors that were trying to kill us!" I yelled dramatically.

"No way!" George said.

"No thanks to you two," I added sharply.

"Uh-oh," Fred squeaked, pointing to the marble that was now beaming a bright scarlet. "Red alert," he moaned.

As soon as the words left his lips, the seventh year door burst open and a rather mad looking student stalked out into the hallway. His glasses askew, his hair standing out a mile on either side of his night cap, and sporting a frilly, blue bathrobe, he stood in front of us glaringly. His head boy badge hung haphazardly by a thread on his robe, as if pinned on as an afterthought.

"Hey Percy," I said.

He looked at us with the fiery burning hate of an angry rhinoceros. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

They both shook their heads 'no', and smiled innocently. I shrugged.

"Well I'll tell you what time it is! Its time for little brothers and silly little quidditch players to grow up!" He shrieked.

"Quiet now, brother, or you'll wake some one," George said, shaking his finger at him.

"And we wouldn't want that," Fred added. "Its after twelve-"

"EXACTLY! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET SOME BLOODY SLEEP AROUND HERE, EH?" Percy ranted. He flung his skinny arms in the air wildly.

"I'm sorry Percy," Fred said, meaninglessly.

"If I had know that it was after twelve I know that I wouldn't have been so loud," George taunted.

Percy growled. "Go- TO- BED!" he finished with a stomp of his foot. His badge, no longer able to take the abuse, fell to the floor with a loud 'thud'. I snickered, and he picked it up off of the floor shooting daggers at us with the eyes on the back of his head. He stomped back up to his room and closed the door.

"Oh, brother dear, we were never so blessed," George said sadly.

"When he doesn't get enough sleep he gets cranky," Fred explained.

"Go figure," I replied. "I'm off, now."

"You can't go to bed for a full ten minutes, just to spite him," Fred explained.

"FRED!" I bellowed. "I've had it- I need to sleep. Ok? Goodnight!" Feeling as silly as Percy looked, I followed his warpath into my room.

Percy had drawn the curtains around his bed, which I was thankful for. I was in no mood to have to face him twice in one night. Usually we got along well- we were both so obsessed with punctuality and winning that we seemed to make a pretty good team. We weren't best friends or anything, we do okay together. But Merlin save anyone who gets in Percy's way- he's not one to tamper with, especially after midnight.

Tobias, my other roommate, was sleeping soundly in his bed with my copy of 'Quidditch Through The Ages' tucked under his head. It was funny, his reading glasses were still on, and his face was buried in between pages 87 and 88. Feeling sly, I reached out and pulled the book out from under his face. He landed in his pillow, undisturbed.

I chuckled. Just a bit of harmless fun...

I took the book and smacked him upside the head with it.

"Ow!" He yelped, turning over underneath his covers. I grinned. "What was that for?" He asked, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes warily.

"I need a sane voice in my head. Somehow, Fred, George, and Percy don't cut it," I said.

"Can't it wait until morning?" Tobias yawned, scratching his head.

"Probably, but what fun would there be in that?"

"Apparently too much."

"If you two insist on making so much noise, then I _insist _that you do it somewhere else!" Percy snapped, pushing aside his curtains.

"Skiv off, Perce, we were barely above a whisper," Tobias reasoned. "And if its going to bother you so much, then why don't you walk down to your special head boy headquarters and spend the night there?"

Percy was seething behind his horn rimmed glasses, as he snootily gathered his things into his comforter and stalked back to the door to leave.

Tobias grinned, now clearly awake. That was one of the things that I liked most about him- besides the fact that he's one of the surprisingly quietest persons that I know- he really knows how to piss Percy off.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up, Wood," he said, racking a hand through his brown hair.

"Not really," I said, coming to my senses. "The last few days have been hell."

"Ay, I noticed you weren't in classes yesterday. Care to explain?"

"I was in the hospital wing," I said, sitting down on my bed and placing the book on my nightstand. Tobias didn't question my reasoning, he knew I spent half my time in the hospital, even though he wouldn't have guessed in a million years as to why I had been there this time.

"Interesting."

"Mmmm."

"I noticed that Katie Bell wasn't present at dinner tonight," Tobias added as an afterthought. "Know anything about it?"

I laughed, unable to help myself. "She was with me."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Did you score or something-"

I scowled. "Its rather insulting to keep hearing that, you know. What kind of person do you think I am?"

Tobias opened up a small drawer in the table next to him and pulled out a stack of letters. He cleared his throat obviously. "Ahem. Well, according to this one, you're 'devilishly handsome and worth a thousand seekers-'"

"Where did you get those?" I asked, grabbing for them.

"The question is, why do you keep them?" He laughed, throwing the stack at me. "Fan mail- I'll never understand it. Ruddy amusing, though."

"Ha ha." I tucked the letters beneath my pillow, yawning.

"And the sovereign yawns," he said, shaking his head. "Perhaps if you got a decent nights sleep once in a while you might not end up in the Hospital Wing so much."

"I rather like the hospital wing. Its pleasant there."

"Let me rephrase that. Perhaps if your weren't so delirious, you wouldn't end up in the hospital wing so much. So what DID happen between you and Katie tonight?"

I grunted. "It started out as innocent old me trying to ask her out on a date-"

"You're not that innocent, Wood," Tobias said with a smirk. "But go on."

"Well everything was fine and dandy before the dementors showed up."

"The what?" Tobias went rigid, his back straight.

"The dementors. We had a fine time of running for our lives, and then being caught by Filch for being outside after hours. I have detention this weekend."

"Serves you right," Tobias said.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have been out after dark. Everyone knows that Sirius Black is out there, looking for something. You could have died."

"Its so good to know that you care," I said patronizingly. I jumped from his bed to mine, with my book tight under my arm. "If that's the kind of support I'll be getting then I might as well go to bed."

"Oh no you don't. You woke me up and I've still got about ten minutes of rant left in me," Tobias said sullenly. Suddenly an expression of sheer amazement passed over his face. "I get it, now. You've left me stuck in here with Percy for so long that I'm starting to act like him. That doesn't seem very fair."

I laughed. "Turn back now, Tobias. I don't ever want to see you like this again. And you owe me a new copy of 'Quidditch Through The Ages'."

"What?"

"Yea, you've got drool in between pages 87 and 88."

"Wanker," he said, burying his face in his pillow.

"I heard that."

"You were supposed to."

I shrugged in distress and kicked off my shoes before wrapping myself up in a large blanket. "I'm out then."

"Go to hell," Tobias grunted, suffocating himself with his pillow.

I nodded, more so from the bout of drowsiness that had taken over me than actual agreement. My back ached terrible from all the stresses I'd put on it throughout the day, but suddenly that didn't matter. I was falling asleep on a cloud of comfort, soaking in the feather soft loftiness of the bed sheets without a worry in my mind. Sleep, at long last...

zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZ

~~~~~

MEHHHH! I had to end it there, but soon to come: surprises. Like presents, only better. Please review, they motivate me like you wouldn't believe 3


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